Railway Stereotypes

For those of you who have travelled by train in India will know that there are always certain types of people you are going to find on the train. Each compartment has its unique set of these similar characters. 

•  There is always an overly friendly guy who sit’s and talks to everyone, you  just want him to shut up.
• There is another guy who’s probably bought his laptop, ipod, digital camera, mobile phone and a spike strip so that he can charge all these things at once on a single plug point for the cubicle, I call him the plug point hog (bastard!!!!)
•  There is always a couple who don’t seem to talk to each other through the entire journey except for when the wife serves him food she’s made and packed with all the different curries in small tiny plastic packets secured by a rubber band.  These are the same people you approach if you want newspaper in-case you spill something.
• These is a young couple who don’t seem to be able to refrain from a lil PDA (the train is not your bedroom)
• There is the unsociable that are on their phone pretending to text someone when you know there is no network, so I really wonder that they are doing.
•  And how can one forget the Guajarati family who make the most noise and make the whole compartment smell of thepla and pickle (thank you for that…..NOT!!!)
• There is also the executive who is on his laptop pretending to work, he’s probably playing solitaire or watching a movie.
•  The guy who when he walks in you just know, he’s the one that going to snore, fart and make all sorts of funny noises in the night and you aren’t going to get any sleep whatsoever. (You’ve had it if he’s got the middle berth and you’ve got the lower one!!!!)
•  The baby that can’t stop crying coz the parents don’t know wtf to do what ‘it’. (at times there is also the mother-in-law who things she knows, but makes things worse)

So as you travel in the misery of these people you wonder if things can get worse, and this simple answer is ‘YES, things can always get worse’ you ask how?

•  Someone has crapped on the floor of the bathroom and not in the pot.
•  The baby that was crying has now taken a dump and the parents are changing the diaper in an a/c coach already smelling of thepala and pickle. (feeling a lil queasy)
•  As you seem to able to acclimatize to these smells, you remember, this a train that started in kerala, and early in the morning some freak of nature has gone and applied coconut oil on her long disgusting hair and managed to find jasmine flowers to pin to it.  (wait let me throw up and come back)
•  (back) and after all this you are suffering the Indian railway decides to make it worse by ensuring the train is late.

However once in a way you go on this magical train ride where: 

• People are nice and you find someone to talk to and you don’t mind them talking as well.
• The baby doesn’t cry and the parents know what they are doing
•  The old couple that asked you and your friends to go to sleep and stop playing cards last night have left the train before you got up.
•  The compartment is as clean as it can possibly be
•  There is no one with coconut oil their hair

And you are enjoying this train ride knowing how rare it is and the Indian railway decides that you need to enjoy this some more, so….the train is late again!!!