Lyrically Challenged

When I listen to a song on TV, radio or whatever medium, the first time I listen to it and continue listening to it will probably be because of the music, the rhythm etc. But then the second time around I listen to the lyrics, I don’t know if that’s strange but it’s the lyrics are the essence of the song and if the lyrics are bad, well then the song should for all purposes, be as bad. But I’ve noticed that over the years I’ve built up a library of songs that I listen to with down-right horrible lyrics. I mean you really wonder what these people were smoking or drinking or thinking or if they were doing all the mentioned activities when they wrote the song. These are songs that are not horrible songs, they are songs that are nice to listen to but make no sense if you listen to the lyrics. Or as I like to say musically brilliant but lyrically challenged. Here are a few examples

Human – The Killers

It starts of well, but when it reaches the chorus you hear these words,

“Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

What the hell is this supposed to mean, are we human or are we dancer. This guy certainly did not know what he wanted to write. And he’s rather desperate to know if he’s human or dancer. Idiot!!!

I Shot the Sherriff – Bob Marley

“I shot the Sheriff, but I didn’t shoot no deputy”

Who cares??? You’re still going to jail fool!!!

Smooth Operator - Sade

“From coast to coast, LA to Chicago’

Really? That’s coast to coast? What map are you using woman? Then again, women and directions; Living up to the stereotype. Excellent!!!

Careless Whisper - Wham

"I'm never gonna Dance again,
Guilty feet have Got no rhythm"

Well I think George Michael will tell you there were hell of a lot more guilty things about him than this FEET!!!

I would do anything For Love – Meatloaf

“I would do anything for love,
But I won't do that”

Well since this post is about making fun of the lyric, I’m ignoring the band name. Anyway, he says he would do anything, but not ‘that’. Well either this is a brilliantly written coz it’s got a disclaimer clause, or it’s just stupid.

Yellow - Coldplay

"I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow"

I promised myself I wouldn’t bring a Coldplay song to this list but this asked for it. An entire song about a Yellow line, what else can I say but, BRILLIANT!!!

Jack and Diane – John Mellancamp

"Suckin' on a chili dog
Outside the Tasty Freeze"

I’m ignoring the whole gay vibe of the lyric, and going to, who in their right mind sucks on a chili dog?

Disease – Matchbox 20

“You taste like honey, honey

Tell me can I be your honey”    

I like this song, but this lyric, it makes no sense. So let me get this, she tastes like honey, and he calls her honey, and he wants to be her honey, so wouldn’t that mean he wants to be a woman then? Maybe that was his disease to begin with. Woman trapped in a man’s body. That’s my conclusion anyway.

Honky Tonk Woman – Rolling Stone

“She blew my nose, and then she blew my mind”

This is just too easy so I’m not commenting,

Tubthumping – Chumbawamba

“Pissing the night away, Pissing the night away”

The whole song is bull shit, but this lyric just pushed it over the edge for me.

Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice

"To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal

Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle"

 Yeah, I know, too easy again, but what sense does this make? I could have picked any line from this song really but just thought I just chose these two.

These songs give us an insight into a true depth (or lack there off) of the artist or not. The important criteria I used when I chose these songs were that they were nice to listen to. I’m not even considering (c)rap music.