Bus Torture

Following my post on typical train journeys in India, I thought I’d tackle another mode of transport used by most of us. I’m talking about the big red machine or simply the bus. I have to confess that outside Bombay (I’m certain that the MNS does not read this, and it’s still called Bombay) I haven’t used the bus a lot. More recently I’ve used the bus not for short journeys but for long journeys.
The local buses (within the city) in most cities have something unique about. I know I haven’t travelled all over India to comment on buses in all cities but I have a few observations I’ve made about buses in a few places.

Chennai
• The buses are almost never washed; I think they started out being either white or blue but are now off-white or brown.
• All the buses tilt towards the left rear, and this is true when there are people hanging out of them as well as when they are empty.
• The ticket checker walks around with all the change in the world but refuses to give you any.

Bangalore
• There are buses in Bangalore? (I know that’s what you all were thinking)
• Most buses seem to have Big 10 written on them, I don’t know if that means that they have only 10 buses or they go only to 10 places, either way the coverage stinks
• The first place in India that I saw Volvo buses used for intra-city transport, very cool.

Cochin
• I’m the lucky few survivors of the bus ride. Horrible drives who would probably be more suited to a race track.
• There is no bus schedule, it’s either that they ply on all routes at all times, or they are on strike. Well what else do you expect in Kerala
• People are like cannon fodder for them, they run over people and bikers and count frags (sorry for the UT references)
• The ticket checker pulls the bell before a person has even got off the bus.
• The whole bus always smells of coconut oil
• Men are invariably scratching themselves through the lungi
• The ticket checker seems to snake his way through the bus through gaps in the crowd that you and I could never see
• Since the buses compete against each other for passengers there is always a race going at at every corner.

Bombay
• The cleanest buses in the country
• The windows leak when it rains. (I know people in cochin, we don’t even have windows on the bus, when it rains, just pull down that torn brown sheet)
• There is always a middle age couple trying to spice up their married/extra marital life buy trying to feel each other up on the last and second last seats of the AC bus. There is also always the college couple who are doing the same thing. And there are a bunch of people trying to control their laughter coz although the couples think no one sees them, everybody does.
• The tickets seem to contain a cryptic code that no one understands, and I don’t think you’re supposed to either, all the conductor does is, punch a hole at random though an random number.

Well these 4 cities aren’t really a reflection for a country, or for a region for that matter. These 4 cities are the extent of travels. Although I stay in Hyderabad now, I’m yet to step into a bus here and once I have a firsthand experience I’ll be sure to update this post.


On a side note, I made a trip to Bangalore recently and booked tickets on one of those semi-sleeper Volvo buses. WROST EXPERIENCE EVER!!!
• The guy sitting next to me was drunk and stinking of alcohol
• He was sweating and had one arm raised all the time so that the whole bus (esp me) could smell his arm pits (YUCK!!!)
• There were 2 couples with babies who just wouldn’t stop crying
• There was the telegu movie going on at full volume, I tried increasing the volume of my ipod to no avail.
• After the movie when people were asleep there was the unholy crescendo or snoring! By this time my ipod battery was dead and so was I